


Out To Save Some Souls

by DefaltManifesto



Series: Becoming a Pack [29]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Male Friendship, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-25
Updated: 2014-11-25
Packaged: 2018-02-26 23:19:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2670131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaltManifesto/pseuds/DefaltManifesto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Boyd thought he was fine, but then the nightmares started.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out To Save Some Souls

**Author's Note:**

> So I realized that I was doing Boyd a great disservice but not letting him get his own recovery arc so whoo~ Boyd is gonna have another oneshot??? probably sometime after the next two. Also, title taken from Sorry Dudes, My Bad by Say Anything.

[The tumblr](http://schizzar.tumblr.com)

 

Boyd didn't spend a lot of his time at the Hale house, not the way Erica or Lydia did. Isaac was of course a given fixture, being officially and legally Derek's charge. But Boyd _liked_ his home, even if he was not the one that got the most attention because he was the oldest. He loved his parents and his siblings. Loved the normalcy of it as a balance to the absolute _shit_ that tended to happen with the pack. When he did spend time at Derek's, he usually left in time for dinner at his home and didn't come back.

He supposed it was because he was used to being a rock. He wanted to be available to help his pack and his family and he couldn't do that if he spent time dwelling on his own problems, and in all honesty, after the hunters were gone, after the Casia Pack left, Boyd _had_ felt fine. It had sucked, being tortured. Of course it did. But he'd suffered at the hands of Gerard and the Alpha Pack and come out of it all just fine.

But then the nightmares started. He couldn't remember much of them. He only remembered pain and fear and flashes of glowing blue eyes (Jackson's eyes, his brain supplied). When he woke, he wanted to lash out but he always felt guilty for that gut reaction because Jackson had only hurt him when he had no choice. Boyd didn't blame him at all. His brain apparently didn't care. After the fifth straight night of waking up in cold sweats, Boyd pulled himself out of bed and opened his window.

The cool night air helped to some degree, forced him back into his skin. He wondered if Stiles felt like he did now, only all the time; like he wasn't really there and he needed something to bring him into reality. He felt bad for urging Stiles to find a better way of coping if this was how he felt. Of course, he knew getting the shit kicked out of him wasn't helpful but he understood the lure a bit better now. He stood at his window for a long while, hovering on the cusp of how he was going to deal with the turmoil in his chest.

Boyd took a deep breath and hopped out and closed the window behind him. He headed for Derek's, not wanting to go off on his own and lose complete control of his life like his packmates had. A year ago, less than, he would've gone to Erica. That wasn't even an option for him now, not because he didn't trust her, but because he didn't dare add a further burden to her already fragile state. It was a bit self-sacrificing maybe, but he didn't care. They were a pack for a reason, and Derek was the only real adult that he could turn to.

After searching his pockets for his key, Boyd headed into the house. He leaned against the door after he shut it and took in a deep breath, inhaling the powerful scent of _pack,_ which at some point had started to become _home_ too. His knees bent and he slid down to sit on the floor, his breath coming faster as his heart pounded harder. He couldn't even pinpoint what he was feeling, just all _bad, scared, hurt, badscaredhurtbadscaredhurtbad-_

"Boyd!"

Derek's voice yanked him hard out of his thought as he jerked upright, head slamming into the door. The bit of pain, brief as it was, helped pull the rest of him out of his circular thoughts. Derek was crouched in front of him and Boyd could see Isaac lingering at the base of the stairs behind him.

"Shit," Boyd said. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see the worried look in either of his packmates' eyes.

"Isaac, go upstairs," Derek said.

"Fuck you, he's my packmate too. You can't just order me around like-"

"Isaac."

Boyd heard the younger growl low in his throat and then stride away up the stairs as asked. Derek let out a frustrated sigh and got to his feet. Boyd opened his eyes and looked up at his Alpha.

"So what's going on there?" Boyd asked dryly.

"I...don't know. That's not my concern right now, okay? Just tell me what's wrong," Derek said, turning to look back at him. "You...you're not okay so don't try and say you are."

Boyd pushed himself upright, ignoring the way his legs shook. "Yeah I'm not so proud that I can't admit that I am definitely not okay."

Derek nodded toward the living room. "Take a seat. Wrap up in a blanket. You might start shaking."

Boyd did as ordered, hitting the light switch on his way in. By the time he reached the couch, he'd started to shake so he grabbed the blanket off the armrest and wrapped it over his shoulders tight. A minute or so later, Derek followed in after him and tossed two chocolate bars on his lap. He took a seat next to him and Boyd couldn't help but lean into his warmth. Derek seemed a bit surprised but then he raised his arm and laid it across Boyd's shoulders.

"What the hell is this?" Boyd asked. His chest still felt tight and he couldn't stop shaking.

"Don't know. I always shook after my panic attacks. I think it's supposed to help you process trauma or something but I'm not a psychologist," Derek said.

"I'm not traumatized." The words felt like a lie in his mouth.

"Eat your chocolate."

Boyd grabbed the first bar and unwrapped it. He ate it slowly, concentrating on the taste and texture, and by the time he was done eating both of them, his shaking had stopped. Guilt began to gnaw at his stomach after that.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to...wake you guys up and piss Isaac off," Boyd said.

"It's fine. Are you going to tell me what happened or-"

"Nightmares," Boyd said, unable to stop himself from blurting it out. "I started having them. I think they're about what Jackson did to me but I can't...I can't really remember much of them."

"Ah."

Boyd frowned. "You don't sound surprised.

"I'm only surprised it didn't happen sooner," Derek said. He tugged Boyd closer so that Boyd could rest his head on Derek's chest. "I thought maybe you were hiding it from me and I didn't want to push it."

"Oh..." Boyd trailed off, not sure if he was hurt by Derek not talking to him about it as soon as he suspected something, or if he was relieved that Derek wanted him to come on his own. "So what do I do? I've never..."

Derek shrugged, moving Boyd's head with the motion. "I don't know. Isaac and I deal with it differently. I think we all do. Knowing I wasn't alone helped, at least it did once Isaac started living here and once we started to come together as a pack. I don't know how to help you though other than...be here."

"That's enough, I think," Boyd said. "I don't know. I just don't want to be on my own."

"Then stay. There's room on Isaac and mine's bed," Derek said.

"I'm not..."

Derek snorted. "I didn't mean like, sex. I just meant share our bed and sleep. You know that."

"Yeah, sorry," Boyd said. "Not thinking. I...would like that."

"Alright, up you go then."

Boyd let Derek move him, liking the way Derek's hands manipulated him and pushed him along, finding it reassuring. He pushed back on purpose, wanting the added pressure required to urge him up the stairs. He wasn't sure _why_ it was comforting. Maybe because he was always the strong one and everyone spent all their time leaning on him and he never let himself lean on others. But that was stupid because Derek was right there, had always been there. That was his role.

Boyd had been in Derek and Isaac's room before, but not in this context. Back when he, Erica, and Isaac had first become betas, they'd spent most of their time in a dog pile on the living room floor. Something about first being bitten made all of them vulnerable and left them craving the solidarity that came with reinforcing the pack bond. Now, that old feeling was back in his chest and he could feel his heartbeat increasing and his breath coming faster. Derek put a steadying hand on the back of his neck.

Isaac sat up on the bed and switched the lamp light on. His hair was messy and he looked a bit disgruntled but he reached out to him anyways. Boyd had a feeling the look was geared towards Derek. He pushed Isaac flat on the bed again and curled up next to him. Isaac shifted and let Boyd rest his head on his chest and a moment later, Derek pressed up against his back and slung an arm over Boyd's waist.

The tension between Isaac and Derek was palpable but as both of them traced over Boyd's neck and chest and stomach with their fingers, they seemed to relax into each other and into him. Boyd knew they were scenting him and that knowledge helped sooth the panicked feeling in his chest. Something about the nightmares had jarred him, made him feel like maybe he _wasn't_ pack and he hadn't even realized it until he started to feel like he belonged again.

He drifted off as Isaac reached over to turn out the lamp.

 

-.-

           

When Boyd woke, Isaac was tracing the lines of his face with the tip of his finger. Boyd wrinkled his nose and sat up as he swatted Isaac's hand away. Isaac grinned and flopped out across the bed and stretching.

"Feeling better?" Isaac asked.

"A bit, yeah. No nightmares," Boyd said, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "Derek gone?"

Isaac nodded. "Grabbing breakfast."

"Are you two okay?" Boyd asked. "You seem a little...off."

Isaac waved a hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it, we'll deal with it. I think you should talk with Jackson though."

Boyd raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because. It was hard for both of you, the thing with the Casia Pack, and maybe you need to build up a bond again. If you even had one to begin with," Isaac said.

"We didn't. Not really," Boyd said, flopping back down next to Isaac. "I don't know. I guess I didn't really realize I was feeling isolated until last night."

Isaac reached out to trace the line of Boyd's brow with his fingers. "I get that. It's partially our fault anyhow. We've been so worried about ourselves we never bothered to check in with you and that's...I'm sorry."

Boyd closed his eyes and leaned into Isaac's touch. "It's fine. You're here now."

Isaac curled around him in response and didn't let go.

           


End file.
